What Is Sextortion and How can You address It?
You are probably familiar with the concept of extortion, but may be wondering, “What is sextortion?” “Sextortion” is a combination of the words “sex” and “extortion.” Basically, it describes what happens when someone threatens that they will reveal another person’s sexual images or videos unless that person complies with their demands. Generally speaking, the demands are for payment or for that person to send more explicit materials of themselves.
Sextortion can be especially harmful because victims often feel a deep sense of shame about the fact that they’ve taken sexual photos or videos. They often feel so desperate to keep that content hidden that they feel they must do what the abuser is demanding. In other kinds of extortion, on the other hand, victims may feel that they can tell someone what’s happening and get help.
This particular form of online sex abuse often leads to a lot of fear for the victim, who often feels they are unable to go to an adult for help without experiencing serious harm. In fact, according to a Thorn study, 1 in 3 sextortion victims did not tell anyone what happened.
How to Help Prevent Sextortion
There are a couple of things you can do as a parent or caregiver to help reduce the likelihood that your child will experience sextortion (or increase the likelihood that they will tell you if it happens). Here are a couple of suggestions.
Create an Open Line of Communication
Having a healthy, open relationship with your child is one of the best ways to prevent them from experiencing sextortion. When you’ve had ongoing conversations about online safety, your kid will feel more comfortable coming to you if something happens. Be sure that you reinforce the idea that they will not be punished for experiencing online abuse — this will help them feel comfortable receiving help.
build an Action Plan
In a situation as stressful as sextortion, it can be really difficult for a kid or teen to know what to do in the moment. To make it less likely that they’ll try to comply with a perpetrator’s demands, talk about the hypothetical scenario in advance so your kid feels more secure at the time. If they already know how law enforcement recommends that people handle sextortion, they won’t have to try to solve the issue on their own.
instill strong online safety skills
Sextortionists almost always catfish their victims in order to gain their trust in the beginning. One way you can help prevent your child from being sextorted is by helping them learn to have a healthy skepticism of strangers online and identify red flags that they may not be who they claim. Instead of delivering a lecture, however, make this lesson interactive by creating a fake profile together. This will help your kid truly see how easy it is for someone to fake their identity.
What Should You Do If Your Kid Experiences Sextortion?
If your family finds themselves in a situation where your child is being sextorted, follow these steps in order to receive help and justice.
1. Try to stay calm and assure your child
2. Record any evidence you have
3. Do not comply with the predator’s demands
4. Reach out to your local law enforcement immediately
Helpful Sextortion Resources
National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC)
Report exploitation to the CyberTipline
Use the Take It Down tool to get CSAM removed
Talk with a trained peer support person for help navigating the situation
If your kid is experiencing anxiety, suicidal thoughts, or thoughts of self-harm as a result of sextortion, the Crisis Text Line can offer support
Text “HOME” to 741741
Sextortion FAQs
Can you ignore sextortion?
Unfortunately, ignoring sextortion often does not help stop it. The perpetrator will frequently only increase their threats in an attempt to make the victim fulfill their demands. If you are being sextorted, report the situation to law enforcement immediately so they may assist you.
How long does sextortion last?
Sextortion can last a few hours or much, much longer. It just depends on the individual perpetrator’s tactics. Some may want to quickly gain some money and then disappear before there’s a likelihood they could be caught. Others prefer to take months to continue forcing their victims to send more materials.
What is a sextortion example?
One common sextortion example is an adult who pretends to be a teen girl online. The perpetrator will identify a teen boy and interact with him as the fake girl — encouraging the boy to send explicit images or videos of himself. Once the boy has complied, the adult will demand money or else will share those photos and videos with the boy’s friends and family.
Do sextortionists follow through?
Unfortunately, sextortionists do often follow through with their threats. If a perpetrator is not receiving the money (or additional photos) he is demanding, he will often begin sending the photos of the child he already has to their followers. This shows how serious he is, and can often lead to forcing the child to pay up.
